VIDEO: Paris Hilton Buys 31 Dresses

Paris Hilton waved to her crowd just like a princess in Melbourne, Australia yesterday, where she happened to buy 31 dresses in a single outing. It looks like this…

Sarah Palin's daughter gives birth

Sarah Palin’s unwed teenage daughter Bristol Palin gave birth to a baby boy Saturday, according to People:

“We think it’s wonderful,” said Colleen Jones, the sister of Bristol’s grandmother Sally Heath, who confirmed the news. “The baby is fine and Bristol is doing well. Everyone is excited.”
The baby’s name is Tripp Easton Mitchell Johnston and he was born at 5:30 a.m., according to Jones.

Tripp? Seriously? I don’t get why Bristol’s being subtle. She might as well name her son “Hey, mom, I smoke my face off and have unprotected sex with my redneck boyfriend every time you’re at church.” I mean, it’s Sarah Palin we’re talking about here. She’s just gonna call the kid a “Maverick” then give him a handgun to play with. “Aw, is there anything more adorable? *BAM* That dog was getting old anyway. *BAM* Hey, it’s not like I can’t remarry. *BAM* Oh, boy, I get to meet Jesus!”

SNTV - Who Topped Celeb Searches In '08?

We count down all those top searched celebs– including one ridiculously attractive man who firmly deserves to be on there– and Paris Hilton doesn’t even make it into the…

Prince Harry's girlfriend learns the time-honored tradition of royal bikinification

These are pics of Prince Harry and his girlfriend Chelsy Davy vacationing on the island of Mauritius. Man, if I were in the royal family, I’d knight my own penis then chivalrously have my way with everything from Big Ben to the Queen of England. I mean, sure, Chelsy is alright, I guess. But does she tell time on top of Parliament or look like my grandmother? Then I bid you “nay.” Sir Cockerton of PantsHugely demands satisfaction! Here here!

VIDEO Update: Lindsay Lohan On South Beach, NYE

Lindsay Lohan was busy getting bronzed with her friend in Miami today, and now we’ve got a video in as well! Watch Lindsay negotiate the sandy beach (NSFW language…

Lindsay Lohan Turns Heads On Miami Beach

Lindsay Lohan turned heads on the beach today in Miami. The Just My Luck star looked skinny (too skinny?) in a black bikini while chatting on her cellphone. Lindsay,…

Paris Promotoes Bongo Virus

Paris Hilton’s been working really hard, hasn’t she? When she’s not posing on the beach, she’s greeting her admirers and hanging out with her BFF or she’s doing press…

Mickey Rourke calls Sean Penn a 'homophobe'

An Oscar contender for his starring role in The Wrestler, Mickey Rourke reportedly sent a text message to a Hollywood insider trashing Sean Penn’s acting in Milk and called him a homophobe, according to The Daily Beast:

On December 28, a Los Angeles entertainment honcho shared a text message with me that Rourke had sent him: “Look seans an old friend of mine and i didnt buy his performance at all—thought he did an average pretend acting like he was gay besides hes one of the most homophobic people i kno” [sic]
Miami friends of Rourke acknowledge he is brutally honest, even to his own detriment. “Mickey will call a spade a spade,” says a long time acquaintance. “Even if he makes you cringe sometimes with what he says, at least you’ll know he’s not bullshitting you.”

While my brain attempts to fold in on itself trying to differentiate between “pretend acting” and “non-pretend acting,” at least we know for certain that Mickey Rourke isn’t homophobic. Clearly, here’s a man who’s not afraid to give his career the most vigorous corn-holing of its life. Well played, sir.

Sarah Palin's daughter gives birth

Sarah Palin’s unwed teenage daughter Bristol Palin gave birth to a baby boy Saturday, according to People:

“We think it’s wonderful,” said Colleen Jones, the sister of Bristol’s grandmother Sally Heath, who confirmed the news. “The baby is fine and Bristol is doing well. Everyone is excited.”
The baby’s name is Tripp Easton Mitchell Johnston and he was born at 5:30 a.m., according to Jones.

Tripp? Seriously? I don’t get why Bristol’s being subtle. She might as well name her son “Hey, mom, I smoke my face off and have unprotected sex with my redneck boyfriend every time you’re at church.” I mean, it’s Sarah Palin we’re talking about here. She’s just gonna call the kid a “Maverick” then give him a handgun to play with. “Aw, is there anything more adorable? *BAM* That dog was getting old anyway. *BAM* Hey, it’s not like I can’t remarry. *BAM* Oh, boy, I get to meet Jesus!”

Britney Spears' love life outsourced to India

India is abuzz with rumors that Britney Spears is dating her “Womanizer” choreographer Sandip Soparrkar, according to Associated Content:

What does Britney Spears have to say about a budding romance with the hot choreographer Sandip Soparrkar? In true celebrity fashion, she says everything and nothing all at once: “Sandip is a very handsome man.” Soparrkar himself claims they’ll only be working, but he also teases the press subtly, saying that “I am planning to do the rumba, which is the dance of love.”

The two reportedly met at a party thrown by Madonna, so for all we know, this is just an elaborate ruse to find the Temple of Doom and turn it into a Kaballah center.

SHORT ROUND: Why do I have to wear this bracelet, Dr. Jones?
INDY: Ack! I’m hallucinating about Asian boys again! *jumps out window*

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