Conan O'Brien Addresses People Of Earth

In the last few days, I’ve been getting a
lot of sympathy calls, and I want to start by making it clear that no
one should waste a second feeling sorry for me. For 17 years, I’ve been
getting paid to do what I love most and, in a world with real problems,
I’ve been absurdly lucky. That said, I’ve been suddenly put in a very
public predicament and my bosses are demanding an immediate decision.

Six years ago, I signed a contract with NBC to take over The Tonight
Show in June of 2009. Like a lot of us, I grew up watching Johnny
Carson every night and the chance to one day sit in that chair has
meant everything to me. I worked long and hard to get that opportunity,
passed up far more lucrative offers, and since 2004 I have spent
literally hundreds of hours thinking of ways to extend the franchise
long into the future. It was my mistaken belief that, like my
predecessor, I would have the benefit of some time and, just as
important, some degree of ratings support from the prime-time schedule. Building a lasting audience at 11:30 is impossible without both.

Last Thursday, NBC executives told me they intended to move the Tonight Show to 12:05 to accommodate the Jay Leno Show
at 11:35. For 60 years the Tonight Show has aired immediately following
the late local news. I sincerely believe that delaying the Tonight Show
into the next day to accommodate another comedy program will seriously
damage what I consider to be the greatest franchise in the history of
broadcasting. The Tonight Show at 12:05 simply isn’t the Tonight Show.
Also, if I accept this move I will be knocking the Late Night show,
which I inherited from David Letterman
and passed on to Jimmy Fallon, out of its long-held time slot. That
would hurt the other NBC franchise that I love, and it would be unfair
to Jimmy.

So it has come to this: I cannot express in words how
much I enjoy hosting this program and what an enormous personal
disappointment it is for me to consider losing it. My staff and I have
worked unbelievably hard and we are very proud of our contribution to
the legacy of The Tonight Show. But I cannot participate in what I
honestly believe is its destruction. Some people will make the argument
that with DVRs and the Internet a time slot doesn’t matter. But with
the Tonight Show, I believe nothing could matter more.

There
has been speculation about my going to another network but, to set the
record straight, I currently have no other offer and honestly have no
idea what happens next. My hope is that NBC and I can resolve this
quickly so that my staff, crew, and I can do a show we can be proud of,
for a company that values our work.

Have a great day and, for the record, I am truly sorry about my hair; it’s always been that way.

Yours,